10 Years... & Changing Tides

With June already working its way along, I made myself a goal to finally sit down and get my thoughts down in words to share with you all.  Anyone who has been a long-time supporter of mine might know that when I have something to say, it usually involves a LOT of words, so I will apologize that this will be a bit of a read.  For those of you who want to skip past the bulk of it… feel free to scroll down to near the end where I’ve got something posted to make it worth your while!

This Spring marked a big milestone for Pollywoggles.  I released my very first pattern in the Spring of 2014… which means that as of this year it’s been 10 whole years.  A decade.  I still remember the first dress I ever designed… I made it with a mint green eyelet cotton, and my daughter had fluffycurls that were completely unruly in the humidity back then.

A couple years ago I had some goals for this 10-year thing.  I haven’t reached them, and I’d be lying if I pretended I wasn’t disappointed with myself about that.  About a year ago though, I needed to take a break from things… and what I thought would be a break for the summer turned into a much longer separation. 

Even after summer was over, I still didn’t touch my sewing machine for six months.  I closed my laptop and hated even the thought of opening it again.  Dust gathered on the fabric sitting quietly on my shelves.  I kept up with emails and messages, as being cut off from all of you was never something I wanted, but I just couldn’t make myself design any more.  And I was sad… because I also didn’t feel like I was done with it yet.  I still had more I wanted to do.

But in ten years, things had changed. 

I’ve weathered changes before, and come out alright on the other side.  I was designing before large format was a thing.  I was designing before layers were a thing (and that, I admit, is something that is still “old school” with my print patterns).  I was designing LONG before projector sewing was a thing.  I’ve expanded my size range twice.  I’ve seen many designers come and go, some of which are continuing to shine brighter and brighter, and others choosing to follow new paths.  For me, I’ve learned to accept my limitations, focus on what I can do, and carry on with a grateful prayer of thanks for every single order that comes to me, and every single person that trusts me with their fabric, time, and skill.    

The changes didn’t just happen in the way I designed and presented my patterns though.  The sewing culture went through changes.  Social media changed (a LOT).  I changed.  And boy-oh-boy did my kids change! 

I very nearly have three teenagers in the house now.  My youngest will be hitting the big thirteen soon.  They’re all taller than me now, and all wearing adult sizes.  This past year, for the first time since 2014, I haven’t been designing for them and they now all push the limit (or have already shot right past) my own design size range!  And I feel like I missed it. 

It’s been a challenging year.  We’ve had some struggles.  Growing up is tough… and it hit my daughter especially hard.  Finding herself without a single friend.  A changing body that she didn’t feel ready for.  Acne.  Crippling social anxiety.  And, slowly we are working our way toward things being better.  My boys didn’t sail through the past year on calm waters either, but it hasn’t been the rough seas that it’s been for my girl. 

That’s the thing though… change is inevitable.  And eventually it comes to where you move forward from the point you find yourself. 

I said earlier that I didn’t feel I was done with designing yet.  And that’s still how I feel.  I can only do what I can do though… and I want to tell you what I think that might look like.  I can’t make promises… but I can share my hopes…

• I have a couple new patterns that I started working on before last year that are in various stages of completion. I’d like to finish them.
• I have two existing patterns that I was in the process of making improvements to before I stepped away from them. I want to get those updates to you all, because you deserve them.
• And I do have some patterns that never got expanded with my tween/teen size range. I’ve removed them from my pattern shop for now, and some of them will be officially retired as I know I just don’t have it in me to size them up anymore, but there are at least two that I really do want to get expanded yet.

So there it is.  Those are the things I still want to do.  And I’m going to try my best.

I won’t be fast.  I’ve always been really slow anyway, and my timing is usually terrible.  I make swimming patterns in the summer so by the time the design is done, people have switched to sewing winter things.  It takes me ages to get a pattern ready for testing, and then I end up having it ready to test over holidays or when school is the most intense.  (But my testing team has always been amazing, and they’ve never ever let me down!).  I got a new computer in the last year… and software updates have meant some formatting issues in my older patterns are going to bog things down.  My social media silence over the past year is definitely going to make things difficult, as I pretty much don’t exist any more according to the algorithms that decide who sees what. 

But those things don’t really matter.  I’ve never done this to be a “successful business".  If I had been trying, I would have quit a long time ago.  Selling patterns, I make just enough income to pay for my very basic website, new fabric, and to buy Christmas presents for my kids every year.  More would be nice, but honestly it is enough for me. 

I also have other life things to do, and while Pollywoggles did take more from me than I should have been giving it in past years (as evidenced by the crash when I finally did burn out)… this year-long break has taught me one thing with absolute clarity: I don’t want my choices to make me miss other things that matter to me.

My oldest son will be getting his drivers license soon, and is starting his first real job in a couple week.  I’m grateful that I had this past year to spend as much time with him as possible.

My daughter still does not have a best friend, and that hurts her.  But over the past year, I’ve been here helping her through, and while I can’t replace having a friend her own age, I’m grateful that I’ve been there for her.

My youngest is right in the midst of growing from little boy into little man.  And I know that over the coming year, that’s going to happen even faster.  The past year has taught me to watch, and celebrate, and get as many hugs and snuggles with him as I possibly can in the year to come!

I have books I want to read.  I have things I want to do to help me grow in my faith.  I have a fish pond that I want to dig in our front yard, in memory of my grandfather.  And I have kittens to cuddle, as our family recently started fostering for a rescue in our area.  (That one I can share with you all… if you’re on Instagram, you can see all our little ones at instagram.com/tales.of.tiny.paws/)

Our family just got back from our second big road trip together.  A year and a half ago, we drove to the Rocky Mountains in Western Canada.  This year, we went to the maritme provinces, out on the East Coast.  New Brunswick.  Prince Edward Island.  Nova Scotia, including Cape Breton Island.  We didn't make it as far as Newfoundland, but only because we only had two weeks.  I loved watching the tides go in and out.  Sometimes they were high… right up and lapping at the limits of the shore.  Sometimes they were low… way out in the distance until you could hardly see the ocean any more.  Sometimes the tide revealed stunningly clean sand… and in some places it was really muddy.  Inch by inch the tide would creep in.  And creep out.  Changing.  And inevitable. 

I still don’t know what the coming year will bring.  But I do believe I’m ready to get back to designing again.  I’m inexpressibly grateful to all of you for supporting me, both now and over the last ten years.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 

 

I said at the beginning I’d post something here at the end to make reading (or scrolling) worthwhile.  Though it isn’t the big “10 Year Anniversary” event that I imagined I might be having to celebrate this milestone… I AM putting all my patterns on Sale for the month of June for a great big discount to say THANK YOU for supporting me all these years, and sticking with me through the past year especially.  

I don’t have it in me yet to do a big promotional event or anything, so this is mostly just for all of you, in my Facebook Group or that got here through my Email newsletter, so I’d love it if you have any photos of patterns you’ve made over the years that you want to share on social media to let other people know.  It’s okay though if it’s just us.  You are all the best people anyway.